Still fangirling six days later

Jul. 16th, 2025 12:37 pm
cupcake_goth: (sparklefang)
[personal profile] cupcake_goth
The MCR concert was amazing. They are performing the entire album of The Black Parade, but they've turned it into a weird theatre show with a different storyline than the usual album. The theme is kinda-sorta a fever dream of cold war Russia? With the band being state ordered performers to distract the masses? There's a mock election that the audience participates in, there's a "state official" who comes on stage to hand Gerard some sort of papers that Gerard rips up, there's fire, there's flashing lights, and it's all very weird and fantastic.

The band themselves were obviously having a fantastic time. Ray Toro (lead guitar) kept smiling all night, and Gerard was glorying in his punk rock theatre kid dream. And the sound for the show was some of the best mix I've heard at concerts. 

After they finished with The Black Parade, the encore was songs from their other albums, letting them flail around even more. The high points for me were "Heaven Help Us" (a b-side from The Black Parade), and my two favorite songs from their first album, "Our Lady of Sorrows", and "Vampires Will Never Hurt You". MY SONG THEY PLAYED MY FAVORITE SONG. I was hoping for "Thank You for the Venom", but the other three songs made up for it.

In other words, MY G-D the show was amazing, and I am ecstatic that I'm going to SF this weekend to see them a second time. 

(Oh, and Gerard is still cute. My precious rock star crush object!)

Meme stolen from @otter

Jul. 15th, 2025 01:28 pm
flamingsword: “in my defense, I was left unsupervised” (Default)
[personal profile] flamingsword
What is making you smile these days? Create a top 10 list of anything you want to talk about.

1. Getting my car fixed for inspection yesterday, they found an expensive-to-fix but dangerous thing going wrong with the struts. I will soon be much safer on the road, which is good, even if it is money I wanted to spend doing a dozen other things.
2. My people are functioning and doing mostly okay despite The Horrors. Thank you for taking care of yourselves, and me, and each other. It makes me so relieved and proud and grateful to know you.
3. I am doing well at school.
4. Mom and Step-Dad are doing well as far as their physical health, and Mom’s gigantic bruise on her thigh from falling through the hole in the front porch is mostly healed now.
5. Step-Dad washed my car and it’s all shiny and cute again.
6. I am reading a smidge of BatFamily crack again, now that I have a bit of free time, and it makes me smile, giggle, and sometimes meanly snicker at Batman’s expense.
7. The couch-napping quilt is over 1/3 of the way done!
8. I made good progress on fixing Merlin’s stockings during the summer break. They should be ready to send by the end of July. 🤞
9. I have a call to make today to chatter with [personal profile] nyyki about the ten thousand things.
10. I get to talk to Merlin tomorrow night, with any luck.

Stewardship

Jul. 15th, 2025 11:20 pm
tcpip: (Default)
[personal profile] tcpip
Several years ago, I was visited by John August of the Pirate Party as I was hosting a special dinner for visitors, and he watched with keen interest as I put together a four-course French dinner with paired drinks, music, and a multi-layered laminated menu. "You have a very organised mind", he observed kindly. Cue last Friday, and I find myself in the company of Liza D., at a multi-narrative arthouse theatrical production, "Art, War, and Other Catastrophes". It was quite an interesting show, with unexpected convergence of the past (hello Helen!) afterwards, with our discussion venturing to a slightly wayward younger friend and my consistent efforts to encourage their intellectual insight. "You would make a good father", Liza remarked, which is probably one of the nicest things that one could say to a man of my vintage. Between the two events, a moment burned in my mind is Karl B., discussing life-skills referred to what he called "shit-togetherness", the ability to manage everything from one's own mental states, to personal and household budgets, to community groups, and beyond. Karl was expressing some concern that many don't seem to acquire this skill and knowledge until their thirties, if at all.

I suggested to Karl (inspired by the skill in the Pendragon RPG, no less) that the most appropriate term was "stewardship". The word, from Old English (stigweard) itself, originally means "hall guardian". It has semi-religious overtones as well, an trend in the Judeo-Christian tradition that represents an active and responsible engagement with the environment, a point I strenously made in an address to the Unitarian Church some eight years ago, and one which our political and economic leaders have manifestly failed; we are supposed to "serve the garden in which we have been placed" (Genesis 2:15). There is a grim irony that an rational atheist and emotional pantheist finds himself appealing to Biblical verse when our nominal leaders profess a faith that they do not seem to even aspire to practise. But of course, there are very profound secular reasons as well why stewardship is the right noun to describe human interaction with our environment, rather than a protectionist laissez-faire or indifferent exploitation.

Stewardship most of all entails a sense of responsibility. Starting from oneself, it entails a sense that one will not engage in self-sabotating behaviour and put effort in making the best use of one's mind ("the mind is a terrible thing to waste") and time ("Life is short, death is long, use your time wisely"). Extended to households, whether shared or singular, it means being responsible for creating an home that is both stimulating and a sanctuary, and extended to the social world, to paraphrase Hannah Arendt, it is engagement in the public realm where social freedom, through action and dialogue, becomes manifest, within the context of the natural world as a whole. Ultimately, stewardship is the responsible and ethical planning and management of resources, whether personal, social, or environmental, and as Lamb pointed out, the greater the power, the greater the responsibility. How careless are our rulers! As Frankl remarked, without responsibility, freedom degenerates into arbitrary whims, these rampaging childish pathological monsters who crush others underfoot with their indifference.
tsuki_no_bara: (Default)
[personal profile] tsuki_no_bara
happy bastille day, flist! it's also apparently national mac&cheese day in the us. chop off some heads, enjoy some delicious pasta and cheese sauce.

still hot, also.

so on wednesday one of my groups at work (technically one of my groups and a larger group that it belongs to) is hosting a summit through friday and so far it has been a massive pain in our butts. the project manager keeps saying this is the last year and she is not kidding. we still haven't printed the name badges yet because people keep registering. it starts wednesday! we're fully booked! registration is closed! and yet one of the pi's organizing it (or more accurately, one of the pi's who's going to get credit for it but who isn't actually doing anything) keeps telling people they can come. we can't feed them. there's nowhere for them to sit. we're full! but no. on the plus side, we weren't expecting to do better than last year (about 350 people) and until a couple weeks ago we thought we'd be lucky to break even. i mean, no one wants to come to the us and can you blame them? and then suddenly we were fully booked. wtf.

(this morning a woman in another group involved in the summit basically gave me a heart attack by saying "so does the minister [one of the keynote speakers] have transportation from the airport to the hotel?" implication being that the minister was already here - i pictured this poor woman stranded at the airport - even tho the ticket that i booked for her got her in at 7:40 tonight. she did not have a car booked to take her from the airport to the hotel because a. that's not a thing we offer to do for anyone at the summit, and more importantly b. no one told me i needed to do it. turns out she didn't arrive ten hours early. her assistant panicked. and then this other woman involved in the summit panicked. and then she made me and another admin panic. and suddenly the minister's not even here yet and we're all panicking for no reason. the other admin booked her a car and i haven't heard anything so i assume she got here in one piece and got to the hotel in one piece and to be honest i'm glad it came up this morning and not tonight because i sign off at 5:30 and would not have been checking my email if the minister got here and everyone freaked out because she didn't have a car to take her to the hotel because no one told me i needed to book her one.)

booking travel is legitimately part of my job but summit travel is A Lot. the summit is just A Lot. at least i get overtime, and they'll feed me.

last thursday i met some folks from writing group for pizza. it's nice to see them in person since we're still virtual. pizza was good - i split an onion and sausage with writer g who moved to california but comes back for like a month every year - company was fun, getting home was a trial because a bunch of t stations were closed because they were doing work on the line and when i got to an open station... it was closed. whut. even the t employees didn't know what was going on. it took me like two hours and twenty minutes to get home which is absurd. glad i went tho.

saturday unpacked some, dicked around some, met my sister for dinner and superman which i have mixed feelings about. spoilers! )

and sunday i bought a suitcase! i need a big one since my other one broke when i went to italy. it has oranges on it. :D

h-e-b is a texas grocery store chain and one girl went viral on tiktok for taking 200 h-e-b tortillas through airport security in her backpack. the store totally leaned into it. apparently it's a thing and lots of people have taken h-e-b tortillas onto planes in their carryons. i find that incredibly adorable and also delicious.

The Only Way Out is Through?

Jul. 14th, 2025 11:28 pm
lil_m_moses: (cow)
[personal profile] lil_m_moses
A part of me envies my mom's lack of memory these days. I was telling her about some of the latest bullshit going down in DC, and she was incredulous, but she won't remember how fucked up everything is. I just have to try not to think too hard about it all day every day. At least I have plenty to keep me busy.

On a sunnier note, had my annual review today and they still like me a lot. My boss is probably going to be stepping back, as he gets older and has his first grandchild on the way. I got asked if I'd be willing to step up. *gulp* I don't think I can do all of it, but I can try for at least part of it. I'm so swamped already, though. I need to figure out some efficiencies, or just do a little less -thorough- a job on some stuff.

Broader changes are also coming down the pike, as we're in the process of being acquired in a few months, after some legal stuff clears (like changing ownership of our US ground stations for licensing purposes). It's a little scary that the head of the acquiring company knows my name (in a good way)!

I still have no idea where I'm going to carve out time to get Mom living somewhere safer. Furnace guy came out and checked everything out, but didn't find anything, so the stove's gas supply is staying off. This week and next are full of Mom's doctor appointments, Lillian's ceramics class, another class the week after next, one customer's launch, another customer's final integration testing prep, and Josh's parents coming to town for most of a week. I finally got work's monthly invoicing & reporting cycle closed out tonight, but the next one's coming quick. I notionally have a few days off to spend with the in-laws next week, but one of them is likely to be launch day, so that's at least one day down. And then a week after they leave, Lillian's grandfather is coming for almost 2 weeks.

i love a low-stakes question

Jul. 14th, 2025 09:48 am
fox: my left eye.  "ceci n'est pas une fox." (Default)
[personal profile] fox posting in [community profile] agonyaunt

Dear Miss Manners: The neighbor who lives directly across the street from me parks in front of my house. If this was occasional, I wouldn’t care, but it’s become the daily routine. I can’t imagine consistently doing this.

I enjoy looking out my window in the evening, but now my view is a car every night.

Today a work truck parked in front of my house, so the neighbor parked in their own driveway (which is always clear, as is their curb). When the truck left, they moved their car back to my curb, leaving their driveway empty the rest of the day.

I realize this could sound petty, but our other neighbors respect this unwritten rule.

In addition to unwritten, the rule is possibly unknown to this neighbor. Miss Manners trusts that you don’t think the car is purposely parked with the intention of blocking your view, and that you realize that others have a legal right to park on a public street.

Therefore, the neighbor would be doing you a favor by refraining from parking there. And to ask a favor requires purging any annoyance you feel and admitting that complying would be a voluntary kindness.

An amusing confession of your staring-out-the-window habit would be more effective than an admonishment for violating neighborhood expectations.

conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
I’m a 20-year-old male college student who met someone new this spring. We clicked instantly and have been dating a few months. He visited me at college, and we’re both living in New York this summer. We enjoy lovely dinners and each other’s company with almost no issues, except one major sore spot.

I recently let him know I’m not interested in monogamy right now. Having been in a long-distance monogamous relationship before, the pressure and trust issues made me skeptical of that norm. I explained that because of my past, I struggle to feel deeply sexually attracted to someone I actually care about. We have OK sex, but it lacks the fire of casual hookups. I also explained that my interest in nonmonogamy was less about actively seeking others and more about lessening the pressure around potential lapses during travel or because of distance.

He seemed to take it all right, but I later discovered that within two weeks, he slept with three people without telling me — supposedly to avoid getting cuckolded or looking foolish. I haven’t seen anyone else in the meantime, so now I guess I look foolish. When I confronted him about acting out of anger rather than communicating, he immediately blamed my original sin of wanting nonmonogamy, which he says is for “hippies and sex addicts.”

I told him how I’ve seen relationships, including my parents’, destroyed by infidelity and deception. I asked whether he would prefer a relationship filled with lies or one built on honesty — to which he said he would rather not be with me at all, which definitely hurt.

To ease tensions, I agreed to four months of exclusivity to see where we stand. I emphasized my reluctance to rush things, especially because I haven’t felt deep love or trust yet and can see that he is much more into me than I am into him. Continuing, even not in my preferred way, seemed better than cutting off someone I care about.

But I’m still curious about nonmonogamy, especially while I’m young and good-looking and trying to understand which relationship styles work for me. Should I suppress my bohemian urges and go along with his desire for exclusivity or attempt another structured conversation about it? Am I too young for this to matter or is this actually the best time to test boundaries? Any thoughts on examining this situation and mending resentments before they spiral?


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(no subject)

Jul. 13th, 2025 07:00 pm
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Dear Carolyn: I have an older sister, “Amy,” who was prettier and more outgoing than I was, so I kind of lived in her shadow, but I adored her and she was always my best friend growing up. Her sophomore year of college, I found out from a friend at her school that she was doing drugs and her boyfriend was a dealer. She’d secretly dropped half her courses and was barely passing the rest. I offered to find her some help, but she just ridiculed me. As things worsened, I was worried about her, so I told our parents. She lied and said I’d made the whole thing up because I was so jealous of her. My parents believed her and even said I might need therapy for telling a lie that big, until she was arrested a few months later and the whole truth came out.

For years following, she kept lying, stole so much money from me, wrecked my car and said/did many other horrible things to me. I moved away and cut her out of my life. She skipped out on her treatment program and got arrested again.

Last year, Amy completed rehab and is supposedly clean. She also had a baby last month, has minimal support from the father and is back living with my parents.

They want me to forgive and forget and be part of my nephew’s life, but I see it as insisting I give Amy another chance to hurt me. I still have so much resentment against her. I don’t want to take it out on her son, but I can’t stand the thought of being around her. She never apologized or tried to make amends for all she put me through, and I’m not sure I could ever trust her again. Is it even worth trying to be a part of my nephew’s life when I feel that way about his mom?
— Distrustful


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conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Dear Annie: I have a frustrating problem with my mother. I'm 40 years old, but she still treats me like I'm a teenager. She expects me to answer every call immediately and freaks out if I'm unavailable, often roping in my cousin to text me if I don't respond since my mom doesn't know how.

This has been going on since I was a teen. When I was 18, I was expected to call when I left or arrived anywhere. I once forgot to call her after leaving a bookstore, and by the time I got to the library, I was accosted by three separate employees saying my mother had been calling. My aunt and cousin think it's a cute story, not infuriating like I do.

Last year, I mentioned I was heading to Walmart. Remember that I'm 40. I didn't check my phone for 10 whole minutes, and in that short time, my mom called several times and had our cousin text to "see if I was OK."

Most recently, I missed a text and then a call from my cousin -- she was picking me up -- because my phone was on silent after I got home from work and I'd stepped into the bathroom. My mom later confronted me about the "stunt" I pulled, how it was so rude I'd done that and told my cousin they shouldn't pick me up anymore.

How do I explain to her that she's suffocating me? I know she worries, but I'm 40 years old. I'm not a highly sought after princess the world is about to kidnap at any moment; I'm just another random person, not a highly coveted commodity. The more she does this, the more she pushes me away. -- Smothered in a Small Town


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meanwhile...

Jul. 13th, 2025 12:56 am
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
[personal profile] redbird
Quoted in the Yale alumni magazine: "You know the world is going crazy when Yale alums are making donations to Harvard!"

(This Yale alum donates to the United Negro College Fund, because they need it more than Yale does.)

Family resemblances are complicated

Jul. 12th, 2025 05:49 pm
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
[personal profile] redbird
via [personal profile] oursin, something I found interesting: We still don't understand family resemblance, and some of what we thought we knew is mistaken, or might be.

This article describes research that used data from almost a million people: every Norwegian student who took a standardized test from 2007-2019.

Quoting the article: "The resemblance of twins cannot be reconciled with any model....The resemblance of adoptees cannot be reconciled with any model."

Adjusting a model to account better for twins makes it a poorer match of adoptive relationships, and vice versa. Any attempt to account for one of these moves the model away adopted siblings makes it fit twins less well, and vice versa.
cut for length )

we will be visiting London

Jul. 12th, 2025 11:42 am
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
[personal profile] redbird
Cattitude, Adrian, and I are going to be in London for a week, starting Monday July 14th. This trip is partly so my brother and I can sort out my mother's things, including photos and papers, but we should have some free time to see people and/or do tourist things.

We'd like to get together with people. I realize this is somewhat last-minute as well as vague, since we don't know how much time we'll have available.

I have visited London several times, but that trip to see my mother in April was Adrian's first visit to England; Cattitude was three with me for a week in 2001.

We mask indoors, but it's July, so we're hoping for restaurants with outdoor seating.

Connexions (27)

Jul. 12th, 2025 10:06 am
the_comfortable_courtesan: image of a fan c. 1810 (Default)
[personal profile] the_comfortable_courtesan
Other hands that might undertake these burdens

Clorinda looked up from the letter she was perusing as Sandy entered the parlour. La, my dear, you are a late riser the morn – or, indeed, might I suppose you did not sleep at home last night? She picked up the little bell upon the breakfast table to ring for fresh coffee.

Sandy scowled at her as he went sit in the chair opposite and helped himself to a muffin.

I will not attempt, she said, to engage you in conversation until you have been fortified.

He scowled but said nothing.

Shortly afterwards came Hector with coffee and hotter muffins as well as a platter of bacon and grilled kidneys.

Clorinda continued to read her correspondence – oh, fie, here are the orphanage ladies go be troublesome yet again, I must go call on Lady Jane betimes so that we may devize some plan to rout 'em – sure I have no engagements this very afternoon –

Most unwonted! Sandy remarked, as he poured himself a third cup of coffee.

– though I go dine at the Wallaces this e’en, to bid farewell to dear Polly Fendersham and Mr Enderby. But my dear, are you now restored to waking consciousness once more, had a thought while reading a letter from Barbara Collins –

They are all well, I hope?

O, entirely, business flourishes, &C, though she misses young Una. But thinking of how well they are doing out of horseflesh over there, wondered if that young groom that fell foul of Blatchett had any notion to seeking his fortune in the colonies?

Sand raised his eyebrows and took a drink of coffee. 'Tis indeed a thought, he agreed. For quite apart from our concerns over Lady Isabella, I have come to consider that Blatchett may come to wonder what else young Oxton might have seen – even he might find a guilty conscience preying upon him from time to time – and take further measures.

La, Mr MacDonald, did you ever essay the Gothic mode? But that is a point well taken.

Let us not dilly-dally, then: I must to the godless institution this morn, but may take myself into Berkshire and Offerton’s stables to sound Oxton out later. 'Tis no great journey.

Clorinda nodded. 'Tis the wisest course. And you may mention that there is a philanthropic scheme for aiding such deserving young persons to emigrate

There is? – Clorinda smiled – Ah.

So that was one piece of good work dispatched, or at least, well in hand, so early in the day, very gratifying!

But she must look into the matter of the orphanage – alas, dear Dumpling Dora Pockinford had been sadly distracted of late – even had the Honble Simon pulled round from those shocking ways of which the Pockinfords did not speak but of which Clorinda had heard from Josh, that had prevented the boy from laying violent hands upon himself, it must fret a mother that he was now going so distant, and doubtless she imagined all sorts of perils. 'Twixt that, and first Aggie and now Thea showing religious leanings that were anathema to Lord Pockinford’s Evangelicalism, that family was not at its most harmonious. And her deputy, her daughter-in-law Lady Demington, only very lately returned from recovering her heath in Harrogate.

'Twas no wonder matters were somewhat awry!

So Clorinda gathered up the necessary papers – the Matron at least was a good businesslike woman! – and had the horses put to the carriage to take her to that quiet and unfashionable but perfectly respectable neighbourhood where Lady Jane had her apartments, adjacent to those of Amelia Addington. Looking out of the carriage window, Clorinda saw signs that these streets were coming up, 'twas no wonder, were convenient for a deal of matters.

Nick Jupp handed her down, and said he would take the carriage round to the King’s Head and tend to the cattle there –

And I hope you will tend to yourself and take a mug of ale or so!

She was rather surprized, on entering Lady Jane’s sanctum, to find the place in a considerable bustle of company – there was Janey Merrett, and Amelia, and, why, Viola Mulcaster – 'twas quite the family gathering –

But also, over at the pianoforte, that Lady Jane was finding her fingers rather too stiff to play herself these days, but that Janey came to play to her quite frequent, Zipsie Rondegate and Thea Saxorby.

Lady Bexbury! cried Lady Jane, beginning to rise, as Clorinda besought her not to do so. I have a rare treat brought to me the day. Lady Rondegate has been rehearsing Lady Theodora in dear Grace’s settings of Sappho’s lyrics – lately turned 'em up among some papers sent from Nitherholme – Miss McKeown had copies –

But how charming! said Clorinda, taking a chair. One must suppose that dear Viola must have had somewhat to do with this – showed very well in her, when one recalled her own disastrous history with those songs, as a very young woman just out in Society.

Zipsie waxed very effusive about the songs, to Lady Jane’s perceptible gratification. O, she said, I must have been in some concern that they would be considered sadly old-fashioned – not to mention the work of an amateur hand

Not in the least, declared Zipsie, showed 'em to Uncle Casimir and he wondered was there any other compositions of hers surviving.

That was praise indeed!

So after some preliminary exercizes, Zipsie and Thea commenced upon the recital.

O, though Clorinda, that one might prevail upon Thea to perform at one’s drawing-room meetings, if not at a soirée. Such a voice. Not, perchance, these songs – mayhap somewhat unsuited to the taste of the present day? – one supposed Thea was ignorant of the life of the poet –

Tears were running down Lady Jane’s face, a most unwonted event.

Amelia Addington was an actress, and capable of keeping in character whatever disasters were going forward on stage or in the wings or even was there a riot in the audience – yet to Clorinda’s eye of old acquaintance, there seemed an air of – of distress?

The song became silent.

O my dears, said Lady Jane, blowing her nose, you have given me a great gift. I never thought to hear those songs again, and you performed them exquisitely.

Clorinda stood up and said, did not wish to be uncivil, but saw that they were about to engage in deep musical converse, and collected that she needed to talk to Miss Addington about a drawing-room meeting, might they step aside for that?

She drew Amelia out into the corridor, where the actress sank her head onto Clorinda’s shoulder and burst into tears.

Dearest Amelia, she said as she put an arm about her, you should not think that she loved who His Grace always refers to as that jealous Billston hag more than you – she remembers, doubtless, happy times of youth but that is very much about those years –

O, sobbed Amelia, it is not that. It is that I think of how ephemeral my own art is. I strut and fret an hour upon the stage –

Things were very bad was she quoting the Scottish play! Clorinda made certain gestures learnt in her youth backstage.

– and 'tis gone. Mayhap a critic will remark upon me in a newspaper, that will then wrap fish.

And you have taught a deal of generations of other actors. I daresay in Sydney there is Orlando Richardson saying, Addington did thus and so – I remember how Addington directed this scene – you will never come up to Addington in that role –

She gave a weak giggle.

– in New York I daresay Charlie Darcy reminisces, though careful to add that of course, his wife is in a very different style – would that one might see the pair of you together on stage –

Amelia mopped her eyes and blew her nose. 

– And one dares imagine that in heaven the great dramatists gather round and debate the rival virtues of your performance and that of Mrs Siddons in their great roles.

You flattering weasel! she exclaimed.

Is it not a vocation to bring those works to life?

The two women embraced and Amelia said sure she was being very foolish. And mayhap the late Miss Billston had had a pretty talent but she had led poor Lady Jane a sad dance – jealous scenes, and then getting up flirtations herself when they went into Society – and making a deal of her poor health –

Clorinda stroked her hair and said that Lady Jane had been young – only just coming into the understanding of her nature – in maturer years she had made a wiser choice –

She will even say as much, Amelia admitted. Let us go in, and make sober compliments to the performers.

They discovered Lady Jane quite exhorting Lady Theodora to consider upon the Parable of the Talents – and what is that fine passage from the Bard that you are wont to quote, Lady Bexbury, about not concealing our virtues but letting them shine forth?

Thea was blushing, and murmuring that mayhap she should think upon that.

So Clorinda went away, having agreed upon a further rencontre to talk orphanage, feeling that that had been an agreeable occasion and that mayhap Thea would come about to let her virtues go forth of her.

And now there was going to dine with the Wallaces, that had been wont to be an entire pleasure but had been constrained for many months by the louring presence of Lord Fendersham.

However, on her arrival she was greeted with positively giddy glee by Sir Barton and Susannah Wallace, as well as Bobbie and Scilla, conveying the very happy news that Fendersham was finally ceasing to be the prodigal father and returning home to take up his responsibilities.

Has been all day about settling various of his affairs – his valet about packing – takes a morning train –

So even though we are saddened to have dear Lady Fendersham going away for who knows how long, said Susannah, flourishing her lorgnette, we cannot be other than merry at this prospect.

Well indeed, thought Clorinda, wondering how it had come about. Had been quite unable to fathom how she herself might contrive such an end!

Later that night, darling Leda giggled and said, la, did Clorinda take a pet that some other hand had wrought this?

At which she laughed herself and said, was heartily glad that there were other hands that might undertake these burdens.


Connexions (26)

Jul. 11th, 2025 07:41 am
the_comfortable_courtesan: image of a fan c. 1810 (Default)
[personal profile] the_comfortable_courtesan
Had two missions to undertake

Polly, Dowager Lady Fendersham, could scarcely believe it. It was only days now before she would embark, along with that excellent fellow Cyrus Enderby and that still rather annoying young man the Honble Simon Saxorby, bound for Peru. And after so many years would see dear Christie, that had been doing well in the Consular Service at Lima, and the wife he had lately wedded. It was quite extraordinary.

But before she left, she had two missions to undertake.

She was staying with the Wallaces, the dear hospitable creatures, and most fortunate, Bobbie and Scilla had just lately returned from visiting Firlbrough to sound out the feeling there in advance of the anticipated General Election.

Also staying with the Wallaces, a much unwanted guest, was her stepson, Lord Fendersham, that continued to linger in Town even though Lady Wauderkell had gone on a retreat in a convent.

Polly had almost immediate upon her arrival in Town gone seek out Lady Bexbury, that she fancied would have the most useful intelligence upon this matter, and she was not in the least deluded.

Why, said Lady Bexbury, pouring tea, and drawing Polly’s attention to the cake-stand, I confide she continues to reside there because Lord Fendersham is unlike to venture within a league of a nunnery. And while I daresay the accommodation may be a little austere, and the food somewhat plain, 'twill all be a great improvement over Newgate. Furthermore, I apprehend from my friend that is a sister in the convent that she takes up her pen once more –

Polly groaned.

– takes up her pen to write improving tales for young people of the childhood of various saints, that will be published and sold for the benefit of the convent. So she is not idle – attends the various offices during the day – has had several visits from her cousin from Cork with a view to settling their legal difficulties – passing the time really quite agreeably until the evidence comes from Chicago confirming O’Neill’s previous marriage so the case can go to court.

One hears, she added, that there is an antient suitor in Cork that is now a widower still yearns

Polly snorted. One might suppose she had had quite enough of marriage.

Lady Bexbury raised her eyebrows and remarked that one must only suppose that with some, 'twas like unto a laudanum habit, a craving that they could not resist.

So she was able to go to Andrew, armed with this intelligence, although she intended to present him first with an appeal to duty. For had been approached by various neighbours and local dignitaries discreetly asking when Lord Fendersham was going to return and put matters in order, and with an election forthcoming, surely 'twas prudent that he should be at home.

For indeed, at present Fendersham Hall was a scene of riotous living by Drew Fendersham and his cronies. There was not a great deal of harm in Drew himself, but Polly did not feel so sure about some of the set that gathered about him. There was a deal of drinking, and while at first they had been engaged in the usual country pleasures, as far as the season permitted, latterly there had been a resort to cards as well as billiards, and, she feared, high play.

There her stepson was, sitting reading the Times with an expression of great disapproval, though indeed that was his normal expression. As he grew older he came to look a deal more like her late husband, but he had never had such sour looks. Oh, he had taken pets when he thought some fellow or other was showing Polly undue attention, and in his later years when he became invalid was wont to be fussy and demanding. But he had taken pleasure in life, simple though his pleasures were – give us a jolly tune, Poll! – and while he had not had particularly sensitive feelings, had been within his limits, kind.

Her stepson had been conscientious, and ever done the proper things, before this recent upheaval, but she had never felt that there was kindness.

She sat down opposite him and decided to go straight at the point. Everybody has been asking when you intend to return to Fendersham Hall and take matters in hand, she said. Your presence is considerably missed in local affairs as well as about the business of the estate. Drew is entirely irresponsible and treats the house as an inn, inviting who knows what chance-met boon companions under your roof.

He looked up from the newspaper and blinked at her.

I have been doing what I can, but I am going to Peru to visit Christie, that I have not seen these many years. And there is a deal that only you can attend to. Your father, she added, may have been given to self-indulgence – had not the present Lord Fendersham expatiated upon this theme to his father’s very face? – but did not neglect the duties of his position, even did he undertake 'em with a deal of sighing and groaning.

Fendersham emitted a sound somewhere 'twixt a moan and a whine. Then said that felt obliged to remain in Town lest Lady Wauderkell should need him –

Lady Wauderkell, said Polly, managing not to snap out the words, is very comfortable in the convent – you must not at all imagine a grim cell – bread and water – kneeling on hard stone. I have been assured that the guest quarters are entire what one would desire. She was not conveyed there by sinister monks directed by a conniving Jesuit priest, and is under no kind of duress. She has chosen to stay there now that she, as one understands, returns to the faith that she was brought up in.

Profound groan from her stepson.

Furthermore, there is a cousin from Cork comes to Town, about some matter to do with their business there, and is entire willing and competent to look after her interests – prepares to come to a compromise in the lawsuit &C – offers that is there aught he may do to assist her suit in this case of bigamy he is entire at her disposal –

Further groans.

Really, Andrew, I am astonished the Wallaces have not dosed your tea with laudanum and bundled you on to the next train going north, under care in the guard’s van! 'Tis a shocking abuse of hospitality the way you linger here.

He flushed. Really, he did not look at all healthy. Town life did not suit him. And was he literally pouting?

She left him to seethe and brood.

Her other mission was a good deal more agreeable! And it was a very agreeable jaunt out there in the carriage that the Wallaces had insisted that she took. She had no particular qualms about how Una Wallace did in the Ferraby household – would doubtless have heard was there any matter of illness – but still, she would like to be assured that the girl was doing well, for it must be a considerable change for her.

Indeed, Blackheath, though fine and green and leafy, and sure far more healthful than Town, was very different from a farm in Nova Scotia! And one must wonder how Una, that had been brought up among older people, got on now she was with the boisterous Ferraby girls and going to school.

Here they were, at this very fine house in excellent grounds that the Sir Harry Ferrabys occupied. And quite running out to greet her Lady Louisa, in very merry mood.

O, Lady Fendersham – oh, Polly – such a pleasure to see you! The girls are in the garden, a-romping with the little boys, so very pretty, come see.

So Polly stepped down from the carriage, and Lady Louisa instructed the coachman where to go, and then to go to the kitchen for refreshment.

Peru! she cried. So venturesome of you – Josh has been in some envy of the excursion –

Fie, said Polly, one apprehends that Lima is a fine modern city, I have no intention of making expeditions into forests and jungles, will leave that to Mr Enderby and his young apprentice.

Are there not, murmured Lady Louisa, enormous snakes in those parts that are said to swallow animals whole? and might one ingest Simon Saxorby? A very annoying young man.

O, he is somewhat improved though now will bore one quite like unto Mr Nixon about Peru and its history and its fauna &C.

Lou giggled.

They came out into the garden, where Hester and Maria Ferraby along with Una were playing at catch with their little brothers Hal, that was already breeched, and Gervase, that was still in dresses, though looking at him, Lou sighed that 'twas nigh time to cut those curls and put him into breeches.

Polly sighed too, thinking of the day when she had performed the like for Christie.

Quite letting fall the ball in her to come running up and embrace Polly, Una Wallace. Most delightful! For Una had been wont to be a little reserved and shy, one dared say that being among the Ferrabys had perchance given her easier manners than those she had learnt from Barbara Collins, that, though a very fine woman, had learnt hers in an earlier day, so that they showed somewhat of a stiffness in a child of Una’s years?

Oh, Auntie Polly, how exceeding! Do you come a long visit?

Polly looked down into the dark eyes, noting the healthy rose that had come to her cheeks – the gloss of the dark hair – one need be in no concern at all about the sanitive benefits of her present residence.

Alas, said Polly, stooping to kiss her, I only came for this very afternoon – am about to depart for Peru to visit my son, and his wife, that I have never yet met –

Una’s mouth drooped a little, before she straightened her shoulders and said, they would go look that up in the big atlas – study upon it mayhap –

The Ferraby sister came up to shake hands and make their curtseys and demonstrate that they were not, as their mother sighed, quite wild savages. Hal essayed a bow.

Came out of his workshop Sir Harry, and Una turned to him with a smile, that was warmly returned.

Here, said Sir Harry, is Miss Wallace shows a deal of interest in engineering.

Well! No, one could not have the least worry about Una, in this place. Little Gervase, clutching her hand – It was well.

farmers market

Jul. 10th, 2025 04:57 pm
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
[personal profile] redbird
I went to the Brookline (Coolidge Corner) farmers market this afternoon. I bought the two things I was specifically looking for--lamb merguez sausages, from Stillman's, and raspberries. When I was buying the sausages, I told the vendor that I'd asked for this kind of sausage a couple of weeks ago, at a different farmers market, and thanked him (them) for making that specific flavor of sausage.

One small box of raspberries, because we've had bad luck this summer with over-buying berries, and not eating all of them before them spoiled. I also bought two small cucumbers, and a baguette, even though it's not good baguette weather, because we like Clear Flour bakery's "ancienne" baguettes.

I stopped at Burdick's and got a cup of dark hot chocolate to take out, because it's unseasonably cool and felt like good weather for sitting outside with a hot drink. I didn't buy anything else there, because the chocolate-covered citrus has suffered from shrinkflation: Burdicks is charging almost twice as much as they did a few years ago, for about half as much candy.

The Dean Road station on green line C station isn't far, but it's enough of a hill to be good exercise: I walk quickly on my way to the T unless I make an effort not to, and then the walk back is uphill all the way.

I realized, after posting this but before dinner, that I overdid things and was out of executive function.

More for the letter than the answer

Jul. 10th, 2025 12:45 pm
ysobel: (fail)
[personal profile] ysobel posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Dear Eric: I am 40 and physically disabled. I need a powered wheelchair to get around both outside and inside my apartment. Recently, my tires were popped by some broken glass from a bottle thrown out of a passing car onto the sidewalk. It has been a week since I have been able to use my wheelchair, and I have another 20 days before my new tires arrive.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be infuriated that someone’s litter caused me to spend $200 on replacement tires.

My caregiver disagrees. He says that it’s my fault for continuing and not turning around. He also said that I am overreacting, when the most I have done is complain a little bit for maybe an hour total and make a joking “whoever threw the bottle on the sidewalk owes me $200” comment once.

Am I being too sensitive about this? I think being upset about having to spend $200 that I don’t have to replace something necessary for my continued function in and outside of my apartment due to litter is understandable, but I would like to ask for your thoughts on the matter to be sure.

— Tire’d


Tire’d: Let me get this straight. Your caregiver, who understands the challenges you face navigating a world that is often not accommodating, thinks that you don’t have the right to be peeved about this? Litter, particularly broken glass, is a problem for everyone and any one of us could and should be upset about having to navigate a sidewalk strewn with jagged pieces, even if it didn’t cost us $200 or a temporary restriction in mobility.

What happened wasn’t fair and it had a greater impact on you than it would on someone who could just step to the side or crunch the glass under a boot. Your caregiver needs to acknowledge that some things in the world affect you differently. This is what empathy is. One doesn’t need firsthand experience to be empathetic, but in this case he has to be able to see how hard this one battle has made your life.

I hope that this is an isolated incident in your relationship and he’s able to be supportive in other ways. Because care is about more than physical assistance. It’s also about being willing to say, “I see you. I hear you. What you’re feeling is valid.”

China Events, Future Travels

Jul. 10th, 2025 08:29 pm
tcpip: (Default)
[personal profile] tcpip
Two nights ago, the Chinese consulate in Melbourne hosted a dinner for committee members of the Australia-China Friendship Society. It was held with no particular agenda in mind, but with less than ten people participating in the wide-ranging conversation, as one could expect, it did include a rather pointed look at a certain powerful but irresponsible world leader. The Consul-General was, of course, very diplomatic in his words and I could be a little more blunt (ironically, through understatements), but that is our respective positions. It was also an opportunity to send our farewells to the Vice Consul General who has served here for four years and welcome their replacement, who I am sure will do very well. On a directly related matter, the following night I attended the spectacular "Folk Reimagined" concert at the Melbourne Recital Centre, which was performed by members of the Guizhou Chinese Orchestra and the Australia Orchestra, which was a rather brilliant performance. I attended with Susie C., an old friend from Perth who has recently moved to Melbourne, and Fiona P., who recently spoke at the ACFS on bi-cultural experiences and history. On a much more modest scale, the Australia-China Friendship Society is holding a social dinner next Tuesday at Song's Dumplings; delicious food, inexpensive, and very good company.

As much as I would dearly love to visit Guizhou as soon as possible with its incredible landscapes (there is a very enticing trip on offer in early 2026), it is increasingly likely that I am going on a more distant (and much more expensive) adventure at the end of the year. Kate R., and I are plotting (following plenty of conversation over three extensive visits to the National Gallery of Victoria over three days) about taking a trip to South America and Antarctica at the end of the year, which would include Lima, Machu Picchu, Buenos Aires (where I can satiate my Jose Luis Borge needs), Tierra del Fuego, the Antarctic peninsula, and Montevideo. All of this is, somewhat, a result of having accumulated long-service leave (which I skipped in my last job to take this current one) and a dearth of international travel in my youth, albeit with a few interstate visits. Speaking of which, a quick trip to the top-end is planned in a month to visit Lara D., check out the apartment I helped purchase, and attend some events of the Darwin Festival.

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